Waiting

We sat at meal tonight playful
your daughter smiled and laughed with eyes like pepper and salt,
curing the bitterness of her arrival shorn of manly protectiveness

Watching her I see you, innocent and vulnerable,
bare-assed on Lake Superior
lurking behind boulders you don’t see craven XY’s with raised totems, you
so what time
careen down moonless nights sleeping in cars vans
do you think
I want to ask
dinner okay?

Did you ever wonder if the mothering father you had,
left,
was lost among a generation of hip green cool dudes
thanks, good meal
who still Adam’s sons totally missed you
I don’t need many things

I want to kiss you
all over massage your feet ply your body as the lyre of my soul
things
strum
did you learn from the betrayal?
the simple lesson?
that some fathers need to be mothered—
others mother—have you forgotten?
that simple lesson

Should I tear my heart out, shred it,
feed you a heartfelt salad?

I’m waiting,
waiting

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